COMING SOON: Horror! Monsters! Scary Things!

Here on BoxOffice Trailer Throw Down we are very easily scared. Not just by horror movies but by their trailers. But fear not! We were brave and watched all of these trailers with the lights on in the middle of the day so you can know all the good, creepy, spooky movies coming at you soon.


WOODSHOCK

I know A24 said this is NOT a sequel to THE WITCH…but I am really hoping it secretly is a sequel to THE WITCH.


47 METERS DOWN

People are afraid of sharks. Other people always say that, statistically, you are less likely to die from a shark attack than a coconut falling on your head BUT you are still more likely to be attacked by a shark than by a ghost and we know that ghosts are objectively scary so it’s obvious that the real scary thing here is math.


IT

Scary clown scares children with balloons and slide projectors and it is as creepy as you would expect from a scary clown. Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, I laughed way more than I was supposed to when that kid ran into the barricade.


IT COMES AT NIGHT

CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT: Nighttime is much scarier than daytime.


WISH UPON

Across these United States, Darcy Chapman ruined all of our childhoods, now a magical wish machine music box thing will finally grant us the vengeance we have been so long craving.


THE BEGUILED

Back in the times of the Civil War, a soldier’s biggest concern was being held hostage by a boarding school of young girls and becoming the recipient of surprise surgery after eating apple pie.


THE MUMMY

Tom Cruise gets covered in rats. London gets eaten by screaming clouds. Russell Crowe. In other words, you know, a regular Tuesday.


ANNABELLE: CREATION

A little girl dies and becomes a doll and everything kind of explodes. Spoiler alert for the first Annabelle?


A GHOST STORY

Studies have shown that the classic bed sheet ghost with cut out eyes is the most terrifying form of ghost in all recorded history…oh wait, this isn’t a horror movie? Oh OK, then this is just a neutral, possibly even friendly ghost.


AWAKEN THE ZODIAC

These darn kids. Always messing around with that Zodiac Killer. You keep telling them not to mess with the Zodiac Killer but they keep messing with him and he keeps killing a bunch of people.


AN INCONVENIENT SEQUEL: TRUTH TO POWER

What’s the only thing scarier than math? Science.


Diogo Busato

3 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Matija Jurić May 18, 2017

    47 meters is called In the deep..terrific

    Reply
  2. Avatar
    Michael May 18, 2017

    A Ghost Story looks amazing but isn’t remotely horror. Same goes for Woodshock and The Beguiled.

    Reply
  3. Avatar
    Luis mutha-f-in s May 20, 2017

    math is scary, but that damn science freaks me the f out!

    Reply

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