COMING SOON: ‘Maze Runner’,’ ‘Tomb Raider,’ ‘Jumanji,’ and Some Other Movies Not Set in Jungles

Welcome to BoxOffice Trailer Throw Down! Where we round up the week’s finest trailers so you don’t get sucked down a YouTube rabbit hole.

It is autumn, the fall equinox has come and gone, but the trailers have been bountiful this week. We have harvested many a trailer for you, complete with jungles, rabbits, bulls, and multiple trains.


TOMB RAIDER

Lara Croft is back to solve puzzles, jump really far, and fall into at least three bodies of water. Oh hey, Nick Frost.


JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

This film raises the greatest question known to man: How far would you go to be The Rock?


MAZE RUNNER: THE DEATH CURE

I think there is a maze in this movie. Or its just about guns and trains. OR MAYBE THE TRAIN IS THE MAZE??


MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS

Speaking of maze trains, this one is like Clue meets Titanic…if the Titanic was a train. And the train didn’t sink. Unless if it does sink. I have no idea how many trains sink in this movie. You know, I bet the book would likely answer that question.


BREATHE

Former Spider-Man sustains a serious hula-hoop injury that results in polio. You can expect to be hearing from Big Hula-Hoop’s lawyers any day now.


ALL I SEE IS YOU

And now for the exact opposite of Breathe. In which a girl with a disability gets cured and her whole relationship goes to crazy town.


JUST GETTING STARTED

Morgan Freeman is good at everything. Probably just like in real life. Side note: there is a camel in this trailer. That makes at least three movies coming out in the next few months with camels in them. #camelconspiracy


ISLE OF DOGS

Wes Anderson makes another animated movie. The first one was about a fox. This is is about dogs on an island of trash…and one of them is named Duke? Like we just saw in JUST GETTING STARTED? Seriously, this is all connected. #camelconspiracy #itsallconnected


FERDINAND

I really hope John Cena had to do the motion capture to make that bull dance at the top of the trailer.


PETER RABBIT

Animals wear some articles of clothing but not others, as tradition dictates.


Thank you for joining us this week. All that is left to wonder, is how many times will BoxOffice Trailer Throw Down! feature an image of The Rock with a giant gun on the top of the page?

Diogo Busato

1 Comment

  1. Avatar
    Moe September 27, 2017

    Awesome as always!

    Reply

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